Back To School Mode - Activated
Subtitle: A semi-prepared father’s guide to school supply chaos, lunch-packing humility, and emotional whiplash.
Let’s face it: we blinked and summer ended.
One minute it was sprinklers, popsicles, and sandy car seats—and now suddenly it’s school supply lists and chaotic calendar invites. If you’re anything like me, you’re trying to remember where you put the backpack... and also your will to meal prep.
This isn’t a “how to be the perfect parent” post. This is a survival guide. A humble offering from one dad to another—equal parts helpful and hilarious.
🎒 1. Conquer the Supply List (or Pretend To)
I don’t know who writes these things, but they’ve clearly never been to a Target the week before school starts.
Tip: Order online if you can. Or text another parent and just copy their cart.
Reality: You will not find the requested “green poly folder with brads.” And that’s okay. Red is close enough.
Pro Tip: Always buy extra glue sticks. Always.
📅 2. Sync Your Calendar Before It Eats You Alive
Practice drop-offs. Set reminders. Double-check school start times because they somehow changed them again. This year we’re embracing the power of:
Color-coded family calendars
Giant dry erase boards
Alarms titled “LIBRARY BOOKS!!!” in all caps
You will forget something. Just not every day. That’s the goal.
🥪 3. Lower Your Lunch Expectations
You are not competing with Pinterest. You are competing with hunger. Here’s my foolproof formula:
One thing they’ll definitely eat
One thing they might eat
One thing they’ll trade for something better
If you add a handwritten note? You win the day. Even if it’s on a napkin and just says, “Eat the carrots or else.”
👕 4. The Great Closet Purge
Apparently my 6-year-old grew three inches this summer. Nothing fits. Absolutely nothing. We did a chaotic try-on day and survived with:
New pants
Seven unmatchable socks
Three shirts I swear I’ve never seen before
Helpful hint: Do this on a weekend with snacks. Bribery is not only allowed—it’s encouraged.
😭 5. Don’t Skip the Feelings Part
You might feel relief when school starts. You might also feel weirdly sad when the house is too quiet. Both are normal.
Watching them grow is bittersweet. But watching them thrive? That’s what we signed up for. Even if they come home covered in marker and missing a shoe.
💬 Final Words From the (Carpool) Line
You don’t have to have it all together. Just show up. Hug your kid. Pack the snack. Forget something and laugh about it later. You’re doing better than you think.
Need a printable back-to-school checklist or a version of this post for your fridge? I’ve got you. Scroll down and download it!
(↳ [Add Button Block here linking to a downloadable checklist PDF] )
