Back-to-School Prep for Dads Who Are Just Trying to Survive August
Because summer was 3 days long and now we’re being asked to pack lunches again?
Let’s just be honest: August is not a month — it’s a weird limbo between pool floaties and pencil sharpeners where everything’s sticky and Target’s seasonal aisle looks like it’s having an identity crisis.
If you’re like me, you just got used to the rhythm of summer. The kids wake up way too early, someone’s always shirtless, and there’s an unspoken rule that popsicles count as breakfast. It’s beautiful chaos. And now we’re expected to pivot to... structure? With bedtimes?
Anyway. Here’s what I’ve learned about prepping for the start of school without losing your entire will to live:
1. Start waking your kids up early again... sort of.
Or at least stop letting them sleep in until 10 and eat waffles on a pool float. Ease them in. We're not monsters.
Pro tip: Just start moving bedtime back in 15-minute increments. Like you're trying to trick a bear into hibernating.
2. School supplies: Get ‘em now or forever be stuck with the lime green folders.
Look, you don’t have to be the first parent in line with the color-coded bins and matching labels. But if you wait until the Sunday before school starts, it’s going to be you, 800 other panicked dads, and one very empty glue stick shelf.
Buy early. Hide the stuff so no one opens it too soon. Especially the scissors. Or the scented markers. Ask me how I know.
3. Lunch planning: LOL
There are two types of school lunch parents:
The Pinterest people with bento boxes and organic everything
And the rest of us, who high-five ourselves for remembering the ice pack
You don’t need to reinvent the wheel. Sandwich, fruit, snack, something they won’t eat but will complain about — nailed it. Variety is for June. Survival is for September.
4. Clothes: Try everything on before the first day.
You think their shoes still fit. But no. They grew two inches and now walk like newborn giraffes.
Do a fashion show. Brace yourself. Someone will cry. It might be you.
5. Take a moment to feel things. (Ugh, feelings.)
Look — back-to-school is bittersweet. You’re proud. You’re overwhelmed. You’re wondering how they got so big and also why they’re still incapable of flushing the toilet.
So yes, take the cute picture on day one. Write a note in their lunchbox. Hug them even if they pretend not to like it. And when they’re finally off at school, go sit in your car in silence for a minute. You’ve earned that.
TL;DR:
Start now, keep it low-stress, don’t let the Target bins break you.
And if you forget something? It’s fine. Literally every other parent is winging it, too.
