Somewhere between packing school lunches, wiping mystery goo off the toddler, and discovering that the dog has once again eaten a sock, it’s easy to forget that your wife is more than the person who texts you grocery lists. October hits, the calendar fills with soccer practices, pumpkin patches, and Halloween costume negotiations, and suddenly date night feels like something people used to do back when they slept eight hours a night.
But here’s the thing: being a good husband isn’t about grand gestures. It’s not about surprise trips to Paris or elaborate candlelit dinners (though, if you can pull those off, teach me your ways). It’s about the small, daily decisions that tell your spouse, I see you. I’m in this with you.
Here are a few things that have helped me—and might help you—keep a marriage running even when life feels like a game of Whack-a-Mole.
Notice Stuff
Compliments cost zero dollars, which is great because dad budgets are usually already spoken for. Say something when she gets a haircut, when she crushes a work presentation, or when she somehow manages to look amazing while wrangling three kids out the door. “You look great today” might feel small, but it tells her she’s more than just the person making sure everyone has clean socks.
Do the Invisible Work
Every household has chores no one notices until they’re not done. Trash. Laundry. That sink full of dishes that seems to regenerate overnight. Do them without being asked. Handle bedtime solo so she can take a break. Fold the laundry and put it away. (Yes, actually put it away—not leave it in the basket like some kind of folded art installation.) These aren’t just tasks; they’re love notes in disguise.
Protect Couple Time
With kids in the mix, “quality time” can start to mean 10 minutes of half-asleep scrolling next to each other. But even 20 minutes after the kids crash can make a difference. Sit on the couch and actually talk. Watch a show together. Share a snack. It’s not about quantity; it’s about showing that your relationship matters even when life is packed.
Back Her in Public
Whether it’s defending her parenting choices to that well-meaning relative or just being her biggest cheerleader, show your kids what partnership looks like. Marriage is teamwork. Let them see you supporting each other, especially when life gets messy.
Bottom line:
Being a good husband doesn’t mean being perfect or pulling off grand gestures. It’s about showing up, noticing, and doing the things that say, I love you—even when nobody’s watching. October might be the busiest month of the year, but that makes the little stuff matter even more.
